What's Next for NASCAR?

​Although I don't pretend to be a redneck Nostradamus, I do feel compelled to offer the following prediction: If there are enough self-respecting, unreconstructed Southerners remaining who are racing fans, NASCAR signed its own preliminary death certificate on June 10, 2020. Earlier in the week, NASCAR driver Bubba Wallace made his demand for a Confederate flag ban, and, by gosh, two days later, NASCAR complied with his demand with the following statement:

“The presence of the Confederate flag at NASCAR events runs contrary to our commitment to provide a welcoming and inclusive environment for all fans, our competitors, and our industry. Bringing people together around a love for racing and the community it creates is what makes our fans and sport special. The display of the Confederate flag will be prohibited from all NASCAR events and properties.”

One must wonder if pick-up trucks and SUVs arriving at a NASCAR track displaying the Confederate flag or the Mississippi flag on their vehicles will be refused entrance to the property. Might as well go all the way, NASCAR officials, and send them away. No freedom of expression will be tolerated, other than those expressions which BLM, the climate change activists, the LGBT movement, and the Yankee congress in the imperial capitol approve of. Oh yeah, I almost forgot about the Marxist college professors across the land of the free. Gotta have their approval, too!

Imagine an NFL or NBA player demanding that his respective league officials prohibit players or fans from wearing any BLM apparel which he considers to be racist and offensive. He would be summarily dispatched into the unemployment lines, berated, cursed and abused incessantly by ESPN, CNN, and on social media. Drew Brees made the mistake of recently stating 'I could never disrespect the flag.' And he wasn't even referring to the Confederate flag! Naturally, due to immense societal pressure, he retracted his statement and groveled before the politically correct crowd. I knew he would.

But his next step will likely be at the New Orleans Saints training camp, where he will surely 'take a knee' before his teammates, and beg their forgiveness for his 'white privilege.'

Regarding NASCAR, here is what I predict will happen within the next two years: due to lack of attendance, and practically zero television ratings, NASCAR will convert its tracks into 'Diversity Ovals'. At least once a month, foot races will take the place of cars screaming around the tracks at 180 miles an hour. In January, the climate change folks will have their race. Greta Thunberg will be the master (mistress?) of ceremonies. Saturday will be the day for the ole geezers race, headlined by Al Gore and Barbara Streisand. Sunday will be the day for the younger participants. Look for Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez to lead the pack.

February will be the month for Black Lives Matter. Saturday again will be the 'ole geezers' race day. Prominent participants will be Morgan Freeman, Oprah Winfrey, and Danny Glover. Lebron James will take a break from his busy NBA schedule to participate in the Sunday race. This particular race should take place at Talladega, so all the participants can be at the renaming of the Amelia Gayle Gorgas Library on the campus of the University of Alabama, which could transpire the same weekend. Because Mrs. Gorgas was married to Josiah Gorgas, an officer in the army of the Confederate States of America, she is automatically assumed to be a racist, and this name change must occur. I figure the library will be renamed the Barack Obama Library, although Mr. Obama has never lived in Alabama.

March will be the month for the LGBT races. Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot is the obvious choice to spearhead this weekend's races. Rachel Maddow would surely dominate the racing, so she will probably be relegated to sportscasting duties. Elton John will be asked to sing and play the LGBT anthem, whatever that may be. The flying of rainbow flags will be strongly encouraged.

And, last, but certainly not least, will be the Yankee Empire's Congress/Senate Members weekend. Maxine Waters, Mitt Romney and Doug Jones will be the ones to watch in the Saturday races, but I expect Romney will run away from the pack rather quickly. Going by appearance only, he seems to be in superb physical condition. During a break in the races, Roger Wicker of Mississippi will give a stirring speech, detailing his plan to have his state's flag placed into a museum, and replaced by a more suitable one. Country band Lady A (formerly known as Lady Antebellum – they changed the band name because of the pain with which the word 'antebellum' is associated) ) will sing the national anthem, during which time all senators and congressmen will dutifully 'take a knee.' The persons of whiteness among the attendees will recite, in unison, their begging of forgiveness for white privilege. What a moving weekend this will be!

After these four groups have taken turns, the rotation will be begin again. ESPN and CNN will alternate broadcasting these events, generating hundreds of dollars in revenue.

Given the self-inflicted demise of NASCAR, Bubba Wallace's racing career will be over. Feeling sorry for Mr Wallace, President Joe Biden will offer him a position as his personal chauffeur, which Wallace will promptly decline with an obscenity-filled tirade. President Biden will then profusely apologize for such a condescending offer, then immediately offer Bubba the position of Secretary of Transportation. Of course, Bubba will accept, and will be unanimously confirmed by the senate.

​NASCAR was fun while it lasted, but it committed suicide. Good riddance.