Dear younger sisters,
In our quest to have a peaceful home, let’s begin with a few Proverbs that highlight what God says about that most unlovely and unhappy specimen of humanity: a quarrelsome woman:
A few thoughts on practical, and not impossible, ways to bring peace to your home via your relationship with your husband:
Pray for him during the day.
Have a pleasant demeanor with a pleasant voice.
Ask him about his job. Be interested. Listen well.
Ask his thoughts and opinions on any subject matter.
Praise him when you are alone, as well as in front of others. One of a man's God-given needs is to be admired. And it IS God-given.
Note: Susannah Spurgeon called her husband Charles "My Tirshatha." Governor. High civil dignity.
The authority over the husband is God Himself, just as the head of the wife is the husband. These are God-given roles. The buck stops with the husband.
He has a tremendous amount of responsibility for his wife and children. So, when a decision is discussed between you, please give your opinion on the matter ONCE, (ONCE!) then LEAVE IT ALONE. Do not pout, nor rant, nor say ugly things if your opinion differs from your husband's. God gives them not only the responsibility and authority, but gives them special wisdom for these matters that He does not give wives. The results (good, bad, or indifferent) of every decision your husband makes falls directly on him. Do not be unlovely at these times. If you have children at home, you will model submission and grace as they observe your behaviour towards their father. And you'd be surprised at how much burden is lifted from YOUR shoulders when you choose to submit gracefully.
Never discuss anything negative about your husband with ANYBODY, including your mama, your sister, or your bff.
Tell the Lord about it and see what happens.
NEVER turn him down. EVER. If he says, "Come on and ride down to the creek with me while I check on the fence in a certain area," then GO with him. Doesn't matter if there's a pile of dishes in the sink or anything else that you think you need to do right away at home. GO. Do. Participate. He wants to spend time with you alone sometimes. If he wants to hug, smooch, and dance with you, well, just hug and smooch and hold tight right back. And if he wants to make love, respond in kind with warmth. ALWAYS. EVER. UNFAILINGLY.
The Lord made men and women to be different for reasons. Men are logical and strong and usually calm. We are the weaker vessel, made to be nurturers, we also are emotional creatures, and, according to the Bible, easily deceived. (See 1 Timothy 2:14.)
And what of an unbelieving husband? 1 Peter 3:1-2 states: "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may WITHOUT THE WORD be won by the conversation (behaviour) of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear." Here the Lord tells us that He can take care of your husband's salvation and you don't need to nag or preach. Relaaaaax. You only need to do YOUR part...submit to him.
May the Lord give you His great wisdom to be the wife HE wants you to be. All you have to do is ask.
With a great deal of love to each of you, and my continuing prayers as you seek to make your home a peaceful one,
There is a Christian lady on Facebook and Gab and probably other social media, Lori Alexander, The Transformed Wife, who has the gift of saying important things in a few sentences. If you come across her on your own social media places, give her an add. She is very wise.
Katie O'Neal is a Georgia native living in the Heart of Dixie. She is a Christian, a widow, a mother, and a grandmother. She was a homeschool mama in the 80s and 90s, and is currently a homeschool grandma. She is rabidly in love with her immediate family, her blood kin, and her Southern folk and their history, culture, and future. She has been a reader from childhood. She is an agrarian-minded homemaker, and more…but this’ll do for now.